


A Regular Husband and Wife

by comrade_bucket



Category: WandaVision (TV)
Genre: 1950s, Choking, Communism, Episode: s01e01 Filmed Before a Live Studio Audience, Metafiction, POV Wanda Maximoff, Repression, Whitewashing, queerness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29668068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comrade_bucket/pseuds/comrade_bucket
Summary: A newlywed couple just moved to townA regular husband and wifeWho left the big city to find a quiet life!She's a magical gal in a small town localeHe's a hubby who's part machineHow will this duo fit in and fulfill all?By sharing a love like you've never seen!
Relationships: Wanda Maximoff/Vision
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	A Regular Husband and Wife

Oh gosh, it’s just so swell moving into this new town with my new husband!

He’s a good one and so am I, and so is the neighborhood!

It’s sunny and beautiful and our house is so darling – I knew it as soon as the hubby swooped me off my feet and carried me over the threshold – we have our ups and downs but on the whole it’s, oh, pristine, it’s perfect!

I love keeping house, and his job – is a job, and we have everything we could ever need! Stunning how the world provides!

Look at him kissing my pretty little head. I bet my hair smells like strawberries. Look at his real live hands on my shoulders, warm (well, I mean) and solid. Lovely!

Goodbye my husband! Have fun at work! Don’t forget your face!

 _(Your pale face with the floppy pale hair. You cock your head and laugh but something twists in you, it pulses at a faster rate. We are tuned in to each other’s pulses and blips.)_ What a compatible couple of spouses we are! How charming to have found each other!

My husband has pale floppy shiny hair like me. And a terribly attractive face, like me!

_(There were a lot of Soviet policies that pushed nomadic Romani people to settle, but it’s complicated; plenty of Roma were in favor, appreciated the chance to access resources to meet their needs.)_

We’ve settled into this house and I think it’s for keeps!

I bet we go to church on Sundays. I bet we’ll sit primly and wear our nice Sunday clothes and afterwards I’ll gossip with the ladies at the potluck and Viz will tell clever jokes and talk business with the men.

I bet we love Jesus, but not too much.

Who’s that at my door? Oh, my friendly neighbor! She’s charming. And so helpful! She’s got curly dark hair, I think she’s beautiful. In a neighborly way!

She’s going to help me be a good heterosexual wife to my heterosexual husband!

(Not that I need help with that, of course. Not that we do.) (Look at my husband’s face, and his body! That’s the face and body of a real life male human husband. No question!)

The thing that we talk around, that we joke about but never quite say outright (we’re too polite), is sex. Sexual intercourse. Can you imagine! I wonder what it’ll be like, when the hubby gets home, after dinner, it being our anniversary and all. Maybe he’ll keep his face on! Who knows!

(There was a misunderstanding about the dinner, about what the heart on our kitchen calendar meant. How comical, in hindsight! What delightful hijinks ensue!) I scramble to make things right, we both do. Somewhere, someone is laughing. Tension builds… and it releases! Such is life. Alive life, truly.

“We don’t break bread with Bolsheviks,” says the unpleasant little man, unpleasantly. It’s funny, there’s no racism in this idyllic 1950s town – I mean, in this town – not overtly, anyway; no one speaks ill of homosexuals, either, or other deviants; and yet the commie-hate is alive and well. Did you notice that?

Well, what did you expect from an unpleasant little man who runs a firm that doesn’t do anything except send numbers through the air, and print them out on paper, and lord it over the rest of us? What did you expect, really?

_(Kill him kill him kill him leave him gasping on the floor, on his back, make him need you, he needs you)_

VISION HELP HIM

_(Reach into that slimy shaking tube like it’s nothing, it’s nothing, let him know you could close it too, you could mash up his organs like a meat tenderizer, the air he breathes starts and stops with you, don’t let him forget, he’s got NOTHING on you Vision on any of us NOTHING)_

Get that promotion darling! Don’t let him see. Oh no. Oh heavens. I’m so sorry. Let me pull myself together.

Vision, I’m sorry. I love you. I won’t even ask you to keep your face on. I like you like this, blipping and booping softly, not churning too hard. Content and gentle. I want you safe always, dear. I want you to have everything you could ever need.

I love you darling. Let’s watch TV.

**Author's Note:**

> ok i got really tickled by the idea of an AU where instead of discovering an old sitcom called "wandavision," darcy finds a ~fanfic~ called "wandavision," and watches it for updates and has to explain what AO3 is to SWORD or whatever
> 
> so first i was just going to write part of that fanfic
> 
> but then my own bullshit crept in so it’s a little different!
> 
> questions or comments (or running with the galaxybrain darcy idea) (or tag suggestions) very welcome
> 
> source for that one bit: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/235700092_State_Policies_towards_Roma_Gypsies_under_Communism
> 
> <3


End file.
